I Need a Children’s Picture Book to Understand This

Please would somebody write a children’s picture book for me that explains the ins and outs of internet technology? Yes, it will be a long book, but that is what I need, because I’m not a techno-geek, a fact that frustrates me. I need a miracle to understand how to link from Amazon, Google, Goodreads, etc to my site. That’s because my brain can’t seem to wrap itself around these written explanations. When I try to do what they explain, confusion hits my head.

If I was Captain Kirk, I’d constantly have to contact Scotty whose expertise could fix my broken “system.” Or maybe I’d need Spock, the super-analytical guy whose guesses are more sure than my noblest attempts to connect these strange threads.

Some people in my life thrive on research. I do not. Though I find it useful at times, the knowledge overload can weigh me down.

I am like a child when it comes to technology. Would someone please paint me a picture book explaining step by step how all this strange computer stuff works? I realize it will soon go out of date before I can put it into practice, but a simple children’s picture book would be so much more fun to read than some technical manual I can’t understand.

Would someone write a children’s picture book for me,

The one who’s not great with technology,

explaining what to do with all these links?

And don’t call me a “dummy” because that stinks,


For I’m a healer, not a techno-geek.

Come to me if healing is what you seek.

I’ll lead you straight to Jesus. He’s the key

To getting unstuck from the insecurity


I feel while trying to untangle that big web,

The Internet sea that tends to flow and ebb.

It’s yoke is heavy and it’s burden isn’t light.

So give a book in which I can delight!


For creating links involves technology

That has little to do with theology.

Though it seems to need a doctoral degree,

Because to me it lacks simplicity.


We all have different gifts and talents, and marketing books can be hard.

That said, I wonder how many adults like me would appreciate a simple book on internet jargon, how to make websites, etc that doesn’t take a PhD to understand?