Miracle Killers and the Invisible Carpet

The miracle killers snuck up on their victim as she stumbled toward the crowded road, her face carefully veiled. They knew that she hoped nobody would recognize her, but they had a brilliant plan. Even as she strove to remain unseen, they determined with all their might both to unmask and to embarrass her.

The invisible miracle killers couldn’t wait to trip her up, and so they sprinted carefully along. The first one trembled with excitement. “Ooh, here’s our perfect chance. We’ve got her now. You know what to do.”

“Yeah, baby,” said the second one. Then, “Whoops!”

Somehow, unexpectedly, the first one had fallen flat on his face. “Hey, careful with that magic carpet. You were supposed to set it down!” he yelled.

“But I thought you wanted to jam it into her,” said the second.

The first miracle killer rolled squinting eyes at the other. “Don’t you know anything about the magic in the carpet? It’s part of our disappearing act, which has to do with being surreptitious.” He figured his fellow fiend would know what he meant, but he didn’t have a clue.

“Hey, I’m not superstitious,” he replied. Then, without warning, he grabbed his friend’s shoulder and pulled him back.  “Whoa! Look out! I see a black cat. It’s about to cross our path… Phew, it just turned. It’s headed the other way. I’m so relieved. We just avoided seven years of bad luck. I can’t believe you called me superstitious.”

His friend clapped his hand over his head. “You idiot! I didn’t say ‘superstitious. I said, surreptitious.”

The second miracle killer nodded. “Oh, I get it. Surreptitious as in syrup. You want to use syrup to trip her up. But I’m afraid I’m out syrup. Unfortunately, I used the last drop on -”

Rather than commending him, his buddy growled ferociously. “Quick, she’s escaping. Set down the carpet and run.” Though frazzled beyond measure, the two picked up their pace. Soon they had caught up with the lady, but couldn’t get ahead of her because of all the traffic on the road.  Nevertheless, the first miracle killer had a devised a plan. “You grab one leg, I’ll grab the other,” he said. “Ready, set –”

Just then the woman wheeled around, a frown etched on her brow. “That’s funny. I thought I felt something brush up against me.” She turned carefully, picking up her skirts, and continued walking at a brisk but careful pace.

“Ahem! You missed!” the first miracle killer chastised his co-laborer in crime.

“Aw, who cares about a hem when you’re being so loud and obnoxious?” snapped Miracle Killer Number two.

“I’m not obnoxious,” huffed the first miracle killer. “You take that back!”

Instead of executing their brilliant plan, the miracle killers started to fight. Then they turned and looked around. Where had the woman gone? “She’s lost in the crowd,” they grumbled to themselves simultaneously. “How could you lose sight of her?”

Regardless of the fact that no one else could see them, the miracle killers found themselves at an unexpected disadvantage. The fact was, their eyes had gotten clouded. They didn’t understand the mysterious mist that had worked its way between themselves and the very one they sought to trick. Nevertheless, they wouldn’t let it stop them.

“A temporary blindness,” said one miracle killer. “It’s just a minor setback. But wait! I see her!” He pointed a clawed finger at the intended victim. “Look, there she is!”

A scruffy man with a fuzzy beard yelled “Ow!” at the invisible claw that had just scratched his head.

“Stop whining!” griped his wife who walked beside him. “Chasing after the famous guy ten heads ahead of us was your idea!”

“Well, I didn’t know there would be so many people on the road,” the jabbed man complained, far more loudly than necessary. “I can barely hear myself over the noise, people are talking so loud.”

“No doubt in an attempt to drown out your squeaky sandals,” she replied.

“Don’t you just love to see people argue with each other?” the first miracle killer told his fellow partner in crime. “Everybody’s elbow is in everyone else’s face. Hustle, hustle. Jostle, jostle. Nitpick, nag and shove. Makes me feel right at home.”

“Aw, stop sounding so smug and act like a bug under a rug,” said his fiendish friend. “I love an ornery mob as much as anyone. But if we don’t stop that lady, she’ll ruin everything!”

“She won’t get far. She’s in too much pain,” said the first.

“But she’s determined!” the second one argued. They had lost track of her once. They dared not lose her again.

“Then, you be more determined! And help me retrieve our magic carpet. It’s the only way to make our mission fly!”

“But it’s too heavy and it weighs me down.”

“Stop questioning my wisdom and just do it!”

And so, they picked up the heavy rug, placed it under their stinky underarms, and moved forward, even though the second miracle killer questioned why a magical carpet had to be so heavy.

Rather than answer him, the first miracle killer gritted his teeth and moved forward. As he did, an unexpected wind from nowhere knocked him back. The second fiend also fell. Nevertheless, they refused to give up. The unhappy pair tripped all over each other as they struggled to their feet, complaining about wind resistance and the mist that kept getting in their faces. The slippery rug nearly flew from their grasp as they walked along, maneuvering their way carefully through the crowd.

Finally, they saw the woman just in front of them, mere inches from their startled faces. She was bending down.

“Quick, throw down the carpet!” the first miracle killer told the other, although he didn’t sound too confident.

As they struggled to maneuver it, they felt a whoosh.

“Who touched me?” said a voice they recognized all too well.

“Oh no! He’s seen us!” said the second rug puller. “What are we going to do?”

“Who touched me?” asked the Master, the one they called Jesus.

As the woman confessed what she had done and got set free, the rug pullers gave up on their plan A and put their plan B into motion.

“Default assignment: Pull the rug out from under Jairus and kill his miracle before this Jesus gets a chance to heal his daughter.”

They planned their strategy well, but as usual, they planned in vain. That’s because their plans were no match against His. In fact, no matter how well they plotted, He would always be one step ahead of them. Though they might win a battle here or there, Jesus would surely win the war. Nevertheless, they tried their best. But no matter how hard they might labor, it would always be in vain.