To capture the vineyard he wanted,
Old Ahab knew he must be slick.
So the miser attempted a pay-off
By means of a slippery trick.
He smiled. “Forgive the intrusion,
But you have a plot that I love.
Moreover, your vineyard is fertile,
With grapes that drip dew from above.
“However, your workers lack money
To pay taxes and cover their rent.
Consequently, your wife can’t buy new clothes,
Because all your money’s been spent.
“Therefore, let me propose a solution
Which will, strangely enough, cure those ills:
The finest of healthcare a la Jezebel,
Who cooks up the strongest of pills.
“Her potions can kill any virus.
I should know. I have sampled a few.
At any rate, she stirs the cauldron.
Won’t you help me finance her brew?
“We can do it by having you sell me
Your vineyard for a vegetable farm
Because it is ripe for a transplant.
But why do your eyes shine with alarm?
“The silver and gold are in my hands,
I own cattle on hundreds of hills –
The ones that survived that long famine we had.
To think of that dearth gives me chills.
“I hope you don’t blame it on me, though,
For I did what I must to survive.
Plus, my wife is the queen. She deserves it.
Her heart is to see us all thrive.
“Bitter herbs are the answer, she tells me,
All her doctors agree. It’s the rage!
Bread and wine aren’t enough. We need healthier stuff.
Our menu requires a new page.
“To that end I beg you, dear Naboth,
In lieu of such spiritual fruit
As love, peace and joy (which may tend to annoy),
More practical produce to toot.
“Even so, let me purchase your vineyard
And replace it with down-to-earth food,
Like envy and anger that grows like a weed
And puts you in one rotten mood.
“I’m just looking out for your welfare.
Your vineyard I’ll gladly replace
With a substitute crop based on following law.
Forget all this teaching on grace.”
But the man told him no, he would not compromise.
So, Jezebel continued the chase…
Can you relate to Naboth? Does some bully want your good stuff? Have you ever caved in and let them have what they wanted? If they got it, was it ever enough?