Sacred Cows and Where’s the Beef?

                        I. Sacred Cows Inedible


Sacred cows and where’s the beef?

Why can’t the prisoners get relief?

They come to church in search of hope

To free them from the scathing rope


Of demons, plagues and worldly cares,

But dare not place their derrieres

On worn clichés and rituals

Which fail to cure them of their ills.


The sacred cow of church tradition

Keeps them bound in superstition.

Therefore, they plead, “Where is the beef?”

For they can’t eat the unbelief


Exuding from the golden calf

That tells them when to cry or laugh.

“Stand up, sit down, say this, say that.”

How did that idol get so fat?


                              II. Aaron’s Calf Incredible


It didn’t used to be that way

When high priest Aaron did obey.

But, oh the backlash he endured

From those who claimed they’d not been cured


Of chronic tiredness. Such a wait!

Why was that Moses guy so late?

He climbed the mount but stayed up there,

Abandoning them to despair.


“God isn’t answering our prayer!”

They yelled. “We’re sure He does not care!”

“But if you blame our unbelief,

Then we’ll make sure you come to grief!”


So, he caved in to their demands,

And made an idol with his hands

From gold they paid him, melted down,

An emblem of man’s own renown.


That idol offers liberty

And promises security,

A world of glitter, fleshly fun:

“We’re seeker-friendly, everyone!”


“Accepting all, and never rude.

“If you loathe manna, we’ve got food.

Just do the motions and you’ll see

How tasty all those leaks can be.”


“I misspelled ‘leeks,’ because, you see,

Those sacred cows most certainly

See ‘leaking faith’ as no big deal

Because their goal is ‘curb appeal.’”


            III. Sacred Cows: Killing Sheep to Feed a Bull


“Besides, the time you sacrifice

To come there Sunday should suffice

For pleasing God. No need to walk

With Jesus here. Just talk the talk.”


“Who cares if you were not made whole?

It’s really not about your soul.

If sickness is God’s will for you,

Then jump for joy because you’re blue.”


Such nonsense is incredible.

The cows, they are inedible,

And in the end they’re still not full,

As sheep are killed to feed a bull.


But “Where’s the beef?” the people say.

“And why did Moses go away?

For, now we’ve lost the joy we’ve had,

The miracles that made us glad.”


And “Where’s the beef?” they ask today

In a world impatient with delay,

But if leaders would keep their godly vows

And slaughter all those sacred cows


Of doctrines and rules designed to appease

The wolves that gripe and the dogs that wheeze,

Then once again, I think we’d see

A revival of truth and of purity.






















Author: C R Flamingbush

C.R. Flamingbush grew up in Wheaton, Illinois and graduated from Georgetown University with a degree in German and linguistics. After working seven years for the Department of Defense (an easy job), she took on the most difficult challenge in the world: a lifetime career of raising four children. Along the way she developed a passion for writing Christian superhero fantasy. She enjoys humor because it's Biblical (see the second psalm) and she loves to make people laugh - whether through her writings, her art, or just by being herself. Writing fantasy is her way of poking fun at human foibles and all the ridiculous ideas that so easily beset the human race, while at the same time honoring God in every way she can. Flamingbush has been a member of Faithwriters since 2010, and several of her winning contest entries have been published by Fresh Air Press. She likes Fan Story and has been a Narnia fan since the age of ten. In terms of influence, she aspires to be the next C.S. Lewis but has quite a ways to go in that regard. Speed of Sight, a Superhero Adventure, is her first novel. A sequel is in the works.

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